


Future Wife

by PiedPepper



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-21
Updated: 2014-09-05
Packaged: 2018-02-14 02:07:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2173998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PiedPepper/pseuds/PiedPepper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cosima is tired of being alone and longs for a love of her own. Who knew that having her wisdom teeth removed would be the start of something wonderful. Coming out of surgery, Cosima meets that special someone. The problem is she has no memory of who this mystery woman is. Now it's up to her sisters and the rest of Clone club to solve the mystery of who exactly "future wife" is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Flying High at the Dentist

Cosima should have known that Sarah would tag along when she found out that Cosima was finally being forced under the knife… the oral surgeon’s knife that is. After 10 years of avoiding the inevitable, it was time for Cosima Niehaus to lose her wisdom teeth. Alison’s kind offer of a ride was quickly capitalized on by her British counterpart who saw this as an opportunity to gather enough material to turn her sister into a YouTube star, or at the very least provide dirt for a lifetime of teasing. 

“Hey Cos, do you think I can get some of that gas? That shit is wild. When Felix had his out he sat in a corner crying for three hours. He thought he was turning into a chipmunk after Mrs. S had told him that’s what he looked like.” She shook her head smiling at her foster brother’s misfortune. 

And you didn’t comfort him? Sarah, what kind of sister are you?” Alison chided from the driver’s seat. 

“Oh fuck no, I spent that time pretending I couldn’t understand what he was saying. He was totally convinced that he was speaking chipmunk.” Alison could only shake her head. She’d never understand her sister’s somewhat twisted sense of humor. Turning around, Sarah shoved her phone into Cosima’s face. “Okay Cos, let’s get some before footage.”

The oral surgeon’s office wasn’t exactly what Cosima was expecting. It wasn’t at all like the cold, sterile rooms she had frequented during her fight against the autoimmune disorder. Instead, the reception room was full of warm colors and soft jazz, the type of environment to lull patients into a false sense of safety before the needles and drills came out to play. She knew she was being irrational, but she couldn’t help it. Ever since she was little and her dad let her watch “Little Shop of Horrors” Cosima has had a very strong fear of dentists. Now she was coming face to face with her greatest fear, and her only support was a suburban soccer mom and a snarky, British con-artist. 

“Cosima, you need to relax. Dr. Reynolds is a highly qualified oral surgeon. He comes highly recommended.” This little tidbit provided by Alison did little to ease Cosima’s fears. She looked to her left and saw Alison flicking through a typical waiting room magazine, completely at ease with her surroundings. Of course she was at fucking ease, she wasn’t about to have teeth yanked out of her jawbone in the coming minutes. On her other side sat Sarah, who was highly absorbed in her phone. She vaguely wondered what kind of picture the three of them presented to the others in the waiting room. Were they questioning our identical looks? Or did they just see the outward image of a punk, a hippie, and a soccer mom? 

A call of her name brought her out of her musings. “Ms. Niehaus? You can come on back.” The nurse motioned her to go through the open door. 

“Good luck Cosima. We’ll be waiting right her for you when you’re through.”

“Yeah, good luck Geek Monkey. Don’t kick the bucket, you hear me?” Somehow the support of her sisters, though totally different but said with the same affection, gave her the push to head on back with the nurse. How bad could it really be? She’d suck down some laughing gas, count to 10, and then would wake up with it all over, nothing life changing about that. 

The surgeon met her as she was moving to relax on the table. The nurse had given her a shot to relax her and boy was it doing its job… when had her hands become so big? And did they always have twinkle lights coming out of them? “Now Cosima, I need you to start taking deep breaths. You’re going to fill some tingles in your fingers and then you’re going to get very sleepy. Just go ahead and close your eyes and when you wake up it’ll be all done.” 

The only thing Cosima could think of to say was, “Okie-dokie.” She breathed in deep and felt the tingles. Obviously, these were the source of the twinkle lights. She moved her fingers, totally amazed at the light show. She looked up at the nurse, “Shh… I’m a witch. Don’t tell the muggles.” With that final thought, Cosima Niehaus went to sleep dreaming about her long lost Hogwarts letter.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***********~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Cosima? I need you to open your eyes.” A slight shaking jarred Cosima awake. God, it was bright. “Shh, don’t talk and DO NOT touch your mouth!” The voice chastised her as her hand subconsciously made its way to her mouth to check the damage. “You just rest. Your sisters can come get you in a little bit, after the medicine has worn off a bit.” The voice seemed to belong to the nurse from before. Just as the nurse lady was about to leave, Cosima reached out and clutched at her hand. 

“Am I still magical?” was asked in a dead serious voice. 

“Yes, now you just relax and… practice your spells or something.” The nurse seemed at a loss as to what she should say to the drugged woman, but it seemed to put the girl at ease. Cosima just smiled and sunk back into her pillow. She couldn’t stop the giggle from escaping. It felt like she was floating, maybe that was yet another magical power. 

“Allo?” Came a muffled and dopey voice from the bed next to her. Cosima tried to force her vision to come into focus. The only thing she could do was giggle at the beauty beside her.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~************~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From inside the waiting room a chorus of giggles could be heard every time the door opened. 

“Hey, at least it sounds like Cos is having a good time.” Sarah mumbled at Alison who was still flipping through yet another magazine. 

“I just wish they would tell us something. Why aren’t we allowed back there?”

“Calm down, I’m sure she’s fine and we’ll be out of here before you know it.” Yet another round of giggles could be heard echoing from the back. Sarah glanced at the receptionist, whose only response to the increase in noise was a slight eye roll. 

“Cosima Niehaus’s ride?” 

“Yes,” Alison practically jumped up at the call. “Yes, that would be us… We’re her sisters.” Sarah rolled her eyes at her genetic identical. Out of the three of them, Alison was the worst at maintaining her cool when they were all in public together. 

Without glancing up from the chart in front of him, the doctor went on, “That’s great. Look, your sister is doing fine. The nurse will bring her right out and then you can be on your way.”

“Thank you, Doctor.” Alison stood tightly wound, needing to see for herself that her sister was safe and sound. After the past year and everything that had happened, she needed everything to be okay.

“Calm down, Al.” Sarah reached her arm out to lightly pat Alison in a comforting manner. “See, here she is, totally fine!” Cosima was wheeled out through the door, still laughing and looking behind her, reaching out as if to grab something. 

“Good doggie. You’re such a good doggie.” 

“You call this totally fine?” Alison continued to look worried over the state of Cosima. The nurse was quick to reassure the pair that everything was fine and that Cosima might behave differently until the effects of the gas completely wore off. 

“See, she’s totally fine.” Sarah pulled out her phone, “Cos, say cheese!” The attempted smile and ‘cheese’ did little but cause Cosima to drool as Sarah snapped what would become her new caller ID photo. “Beautiful! We’ll take the reigns from here, Nurse Jackie.” Sarah said pushing Cosima out of the office as Alison hurried out an apology before following. 

The slight walk to Alison’s van was filled with Cosima giggling as Sarah made driving noises with every turn they made. As Alison began to maneuver Cosima into the backseat, Sarah ran the wheelchair back to the office. Flailing around a bit and being almost dead weight, Cosima reached up to pet Alison’s hair. “Alison, I met the prettiest puppy. She was all golden… and… and pretty and stuff!” By now her head was lolling off to the side and just as Alison was strapping her into the backseat of her minivan faint cotton muffled barks could be heard coming from Cosima. 

“That’s nice sweetie, you just rest.” Was all Alison could say to the dreadlocked woman. “Sarah, put down the phone and help me.” 

“Come on Ally, this shit is priceless.”

“Sarah, you know how I feel about swearing.” 

“Christ, Alison it’s only shit-” Sarah tried to argue before being quickly cut off from the backseat.

“Merde is shit in French. The pretty puppy taught me.” Came the dopey voice from the backseat. Sarah, still with her phone trained on the drugged up woman, turned to Alison. 

“What’s with the puppy talk?” Beginning to pull out of the parking lot, Alison just shrugged. 

“Sarah!” 

“Cos!” 

“No. Sarah. The puppy…” Cosima seemed at a loss for words. “The puppy was beautiful. And… and… French. The puppy was very French.” 

“What, like one of those French poodle things?” This was apparently the wrong thing to say, as Cosima immediately got angry.

“NO! The puppy was golden.” The girl in the backseat was almost in tears when her sisters didn’t seem to understand just how pretty the puppy in the back room had been. “Pauvre petit chiot… all alone.”

“…Okay. I don’t know what that means but don’t be sad. C’mon, we’re going back to Fee’s, and Al made you some good soup. You know that’s going to be good, it’s all homemade with mom love and shit. Plus the best part, all the ice cream you want.” Sarah was trying desperately to cheer up the girl in the back; depressed Cosima wasn’t something she enjoyed seeing. 

By the time they’d made it back to Felix’s loft Cosima had regaled them of tales of her new found magical power, cried because said magical power came too late for her to go to Hogwarts, marveled over the fact that everything was so very green, the last of which baffled her sisters because the last thing downtown Toronto would be called is green. Getting Cosima into the loft was a challenge in itself. First, the painted faces on the exterior had Cosima convinced that the building would actually talk to her. Second, the stairs might as well have been Mount Everest for all of the skill that Cosima had putting one foot in front of the other. 

“Alison, I’m so tired. Can’t I just live here?” Cosima motioned to the dingy stairway.   
“No, sweetie. Come on, just a few more steps and you can go to bed.” The combined effort of Alison and a highly amused Sarah finally got their high-as-a-kite sister through Felix’s door. 

“Oi, Buttmunch. Care to give us a hand?” Sarah called out to her brother. 

“Oh you’re back already. Hello, Cosima. How is my favorite scientist doing?” He said as he reached out to help support her. 

“Felix! Hi.” Giggling to herself as she was led to the bed in the corner. “Felix, Felix, bo-felie. Banana-fana fo-Felie. Fee-fi-mo-melie. Felix.” Throwing up her hands, smacking both said Felix and Sarah in the faces she cried out, “The name game!… dude your name is hard with that game.” The realization of which sent her into another fit of laughter as she settled down onto the bed. “OH MY GOD!” 

“What? What now?” Felix unused to Cosima’s recent behavior was taken aback by the rather loud exclamation. 

“Felix is Helix with an F!” 

“Groundbreaking, I can see all that money for your PhD was well spent.” He rolled his eyes as he turned back to help Alison with Cosima’s bags. “How long will she be like this?” 

Shrugging, Alison looked over at her sister. “For an hour or so, I would assume.” 

“Yeah, believe it or not Fee, this is her calming down a bit. In the car she just kept going on about a French dog… or a dog that spoke French. I don’t know what, but it was great. Got it all on video.” 

“Of course you would capitalize on poor Cosima’s misery.” Felix huffed looking down at his sister. He was obviously having flashbacks of his own experience with having his wisdom teeth out.

Before the two siblings could begin squawking at each other over things long in the past Alison interrupted. “Well I’ll be going. Now Sarah, Cosima needs her medication every four hours. She needs to have lots of clear fluids and you need to make sure she sleeps. You have my number, and here is the number for the doctor’s office, if anything happens you call me right away.”

“God. Yes mom.” Sarah groaned throwing herself onto the couch. “I know it’s hard to believe, but I too have a child and know how to be caring and do all of that nurturing stuff.” 

“Fine. Felix, thank you for letting Cosima stay here.” She turned to look at her sister. “Sarah… just… please keep her safe.” Immediately Sarah softened. After Beth and especially after Cosima’s previous health scares it was only natural for the uptight mother to worry. 

“Yeah, of course I will. You go on home to Donnie and the kids and I’ll have Cos give you a call when she’s feeling up to it.” With this, Sarah stood up and walked over to Alison, who in a rare moment of outward affection reached out and pulled Sarah into a hug. 

“Thank you.” With that, Alison left for the suburbs and it was just Felix, Sarah, and a passed out, snoring Cosima.

“Well, I could use a drink. What about you, sister of mine?” With that the evening went on, Sarah made sure Cosima took her medicine and ate a little, and later on gently supported her sister as she got sick from the lingering influence of the laughing gas. By the morning Sarah was out cold on the bed beside Cosima still holding a now warm icepack against her sister’s swollen cheek. 

As the morning rays of light hit the bed, Cosima groaned, as she was forced awake. Her head hurt, and her jaw throbbed with each heartbeat. Rolling over she saw Sarah and smiled; vaguely recalling the tenderness of her usually aloof sister. Not wanting to wake her, Cosima slightly propped herself up on her pillow. Looking through her phone she was rather alarmed by the number of texts she had sent out while she had been under the influence. The one to Scott was especially cringe worthy as she deemed him her favorite battle bitch 5ever. There was one to Rachel claiming that she had figured out the meaning of “I am the Walrus.” She could only shake her head at that, finding that apparently her epiphany had been only temporary. From beside her, Sarah groaned as she sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. 

As the world came into focus, “Cos, you okay?” Cosima tried to answer but found that the pain in her jaw was unbearable. Sarah, sensing her sisters pain quickly moved off to get Cosima’s morning dose of painkillers. Reaching behind the dreadlocked girl, Sarah helped her sit up so she could take her medicine. “Oh Cos, I had really hoped we’d never have to do this again.” Sarah reached down and held on to her sisters hand, intertwining their fingers together. It was then that Sarah noticed something odd about Cosima’s arm. Lifting up Cosima’s arm, Sarah investigated what had caught her attention. Clearing her throat to get her sister’s attention. “So, is there anything you want to tell me?” 

Cosima was at a loss as to what Sarah could be talking about. Turning to look at what had caught Sarah’s attention her breath hitched. There written in a neat scrawl was a phone number, and then atop, in Cosima’s own loopy hand were two very simple words. Running her hand over the writing, the only thought Cosima could manage to form was, just who exactly was “Future Wife?”


	2. Sarah's Con

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alison gets in on the mystery.

Future Wife? Who could it possibly be? The only woman she could remember meeting yesterday was the nurse. Who, while lovely, was clearly in a relationship, if the ring on her finger was any indication. Cosima wracked her brain trying to piece together the fractured pictures that made up the time between leaving her sisters in the waiting room and being reunited with them after the surgery. 

“Sarah, what happened yesterday?”

“God, you went back for the procedure. I made it to the B list on that stupid Kardashian game. Alison was Alison. Then you came out and we took you home.” 

“Did anyone come out with me… Did I say anything about a girl?” 

“Nah, the nurse brought you out alone.” Sarah shrugged. “Oh, and the dog.”

Cosima was taken aback by that. “Dog? What dog?”

“I don’t know Cos, a dog. You were hallucinating. I mean, you also told us that you could shoot sparks from your fingers.” Cosima could only sigh. It was frustrating her beyond reason that she couldn’t remember anything after the first few breaths of laughing gas. “Why don’t you just call the number?” The brief glimmer of hope that Sarah’s suggestion sparked was quickly extinguished upon further inspection, where she found that the last two digits were smeared away. 

“Damn.”

Looking down at the smeared ink, Sarah smirked, “Fuck, well I guess you shouldn’t have drooled so much.” Sarah danced out of the way of the pillow Cosima threw at her. “Now, now, Cos. You’re injured, you should be conserving your energy.” 

“Bitch.”

“I heard that!” 

“You were meant to.” She knew Sarah was just trying to make her smile, but she kind of wished her sister would take this mystery a little more seriously. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew that her need to find out who this woman bordered on ridiculous. But she couldn’t help but feel a small bit of hope that maybe she really had made a connection with someone. She was forever grateful for the family she found in her sisters and clone club but it still wasn’t easy being the only one without someone. Alison had her own family. Sarah and Cal were reconnecting. Rachel and Paul were… doing whatever it is that they do. Even Helena had found someone in the easy-going trucker, Jesse. Somewhere in the back of her mind she still worried about being pushed aside and forgotten. Sarah’s claim of “stick to the science” haunted her thoughts even now. Was being the geek monkey all she’d ever be good for? No, she was tired of being alone. If there was any chance that this woman could be “the one”, she was going to do everything she could to find her again.   
“Sarah, I think I want to find her.” 

Sarah moved back towards the bed and her sister. “I don’t know. Don’t you think you should just focus on getting better?

“FUCK, Sarah. I’ve spent the past year and half waiting to get better… waiting to have a life. I’m done waiting. Now, can I count on my sister to help me or not?” The outburst sent a shockwave of pain through her jaw. In all honesty the sob that escaped was just as much to do with fear of solitude, as it was the pain. 

Sarah winced; she hated seeing her sister in pain. “Yeah, Cos. You can. We’ll find her. But first you need to eat some of Alison’s soup so she won’t accuse me of letting you starve to death.” Cosima let out a sigh of relief at Sarah’s agreement to help. She sat back and gave in to Sarah’s demands to eat. Alison was a fantastic cook and eating a little bit was helping clear her head from the dopiness caused by the pain pills. She was used to the high she’d get from pot. It was always a source of calm for her, a way to slow her crazy mind and see the big picture. The high she was on at the moment was anything but calm. A sense of anxiety and desperation was settling into the pit of her stomach. 

“So, how are we going to do this? I mean, we’re missing the last few digits of her number, and the only thing I can remember from yesterday is laughing a lot.”

“Don’t worry Sis, I’ve got this.” Sarah’s cocky assurances made Cosima suspicious. She had the sneaking suspicion that whatever the British woman’s plan was, Alison would definitely not approve. 

“What are you going to do?” 

“Simple, I’m going to call the place up and pretend to be her.” Yes, Alison would most definitely not approve of this plan. She never liked being reminded of Sarah’s less than reputable past. “Think Cos, what can you tell me about her?” 

“Umm… I don’t know. I just remember that she was pretty, and a golden puppy.” Sarah blinked at this before rubbing her eyes in slight frustration. With that information Sarah dialed up the surgeon’s office, clearing her throat to trying to sound like someone a day out of surgery. 

“Yes, hi. I was in there yesterday for a procedure and I’m afraid that I gave you my old address for billing.” Cosima could only shake her head. This was Sarah’s brilliant plan? “My name? It’s…” Sarah paused and moved the phone down to rub it on her shirt creating a pseudo static noise. Not letting the receptionist speak, Sarah pressed on. “I was in around 3pm yesterday. Blonde hair.” Cosima strained to hear the other side of the conversation but from the look of frustration on Sarah’s face, she guessed it wasn’t going to plan. “Where’s my accent? Umm…” Sarah looked at Cosima in panic. “What kind of accent did you think I had?…French? That’s great because I’m an actress and I was practicing for a play… My file has a different profession? Oh weird, can you perhaps tell me the name on the file you’re looking at?…Hello?…” 

“Yeah, she hung up.” Sarah shrugged as she tossed her phone down beside Cosima, who could only look at the British woman in disbelief. 

“How the hell did you ever con anyone?” 

“Oi, it’s not like you gave me a lot to work with. I’m sorry I couldn’t convince them of my identity with the information ‘pretty golden dog.’ And you didn’t tell me she was French! 

“I didn’t know she was French.” French? Cosima had to admit that of all foreign languages French was definitely one of the sexiest. She remembered having a professor her freshman year describe French as being all about where you put the tongue. She had laughed then, but now with the thought of a beautiful French woman’s tongue filling her head she definitely wasn’t laughing. 

Her less than innocent musing were interrupted, “don’t get your panties in a twist, I’ll call again.” Sarah stretched and cracked her neck before muttering, “You’re damn right,” a few times and slipping into a familiar voice. Hitting redial Sarah waited patiently for the receptionist to answer. “Hello, this is Detective Childs, I need to ask a few questions about a patient of yours…” Fuck, Alison really wasn’t going to like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the shortness of the update. Some chapters will be longer, others will be shorter. Next up is Alison being brought into the quest to find out who Future Wife is and we’ll see just how different she and Sarah are in their approaches.


	3. Alison's Simple Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alison attempts to help Cosima find the mystery woman in the exact opposite way as Sarah.

Chapter 3. Alison's Simple Plan

Needless to say, Sarah's multiple attempts at conning the surgeon's office into revealing the woman's name were an abysmal fail. Cosima was dozing off on the bed when Alison came bustling into the loft.

"Hello everyone." She began tidying up. "Cosima, how are you feeling?" In response, Cosima groaned and rolled over with a pillow over her head. "Oh dear. Sarah, when was the last time you gave her the medication?"

"Chill, Al. She had some an hour ago. It's why she's all…" Sarah motioned towards the lump on the bed as explanation.

"What have you too been up to?"

"We've been searching for… shit Cos, do you want people to know?" Again she was met with a groan that she took as permission to share their morning activities with their sister. "Cos met someone at the dentist."

"Cosima, that's wonderful. What's she like?" Cosima got up, throwing the pillow off to the side, before padding over to sit next to her sisters.

"I don't know… I can't remember."

Sarah jumped in, giving Alison all of the details while Cosima rested her cheek against her ice pack. "And then I called as Beth-"

"YOU DID WHAT?" Alison interrupted Sarah's tale.

"Well, I called and pretended to be Beth. I thought they'd give the information to a detective…" she trailed off.

"Damn it, Sarah. Did you ever think of just explaining the situation and asking politely? Did you have to pretend to be Beth?" The coldness of Alison's voice sent a chill through both Cosima and Sarah. The British woman knew that using Beth would be a sore point for Alison, who was still raw over the loss of their other sister.

Sarah sat down across from Alison, reaching out to touch her sister's knee. "Ali, I know you miss Beth, but she would have wanted this."

"NO! You don't get to do that, Sarah." Alison stood abruptly, seething with anger. "You didn't know her. Just because you played Beth for a few months and screwed Paul does not mean that you know a God damn thing about her!" The tension in the room was palpable. Sarah heaved a sigh.

"You're right… I didn't know Beth personally and that's something I'm deeply sorry for." Sarah paused looking for the right words. "What I do know is that Beth would never want any of us to suffer the same sadness and feelings of loneliness that she did. Can you honestly say that, were Beth sitting here with us, that she wouldn't have tried the exact same thing?" The anger gone, Alison looked defeated and lost. She knew that Beth was the first one who saw them all as a unit, if not a family. She'd be absolutely torn up over Cosima's lingering depression.

"You're right." Turning to Cosima, Alison reached out and grabbed her hand. "Cosima, I will do everything I can to help you be happy… we all deserve happiness. But if we're going to do this, we're going to do in right."

Alison ushered Cosima into the mini van, intent on proving Sarah wrong. Honesty and directness would prevail and she would be responsible for helping Cosima finding happiness.

They made idle chitchat on the way to the doctor's office; Alison asking after her health, Cosima checking on how the kids and Donnie were doing. It was peaceful and Cosima was able to sink back into her seat and forget about the aching throb in her face. She was probably long over do for another pain pill.

"You know Alison, in the US there's something called patient confidentiality. I don't think they can legally tell us anything."

"No. This is Canada. We're nice. They'll help us because it's all in the name of love." As they pulled up to the office Alison began to outline the game plan. "Okay, we'll go in there. I'll do the talking. You just stand back and look sad and lonely."

"I am sad and lonely."

"Good. Now own it and let's go get the dirt on this girl of yours." Alison nodded once, settling the plan, before walking a determined march up to the office door. Cosima could only follow along with the dread that this plan was likely to go as well as Sarah's.

As she walked through the front door Alison pulled her to the side. "Remember. Let me talk. You just look sad. Channel Meryl!"

Alison marched up to the receptionist's desk. "Hello. My sister," she waved behind her towards Cosima, "was in here a few days ago and met someone in the post surgery room." The admin lady looked blankly from Alison to Cosima, who was doing her best to look like sad Meryl Streep. "The problem is that my sister lost this woman's phone number and we were hoping you could help us out." Alison smiled cheerfully.

"Yeah, that happens all the time. It's the drugs. They make people see connections that aren't there."

Cosima stepped forward to give the woman a piece of her mind but was waved off by Alison. "Excuse me. My sister is extremely certain of this connection. Not that it's any business of yours." Alison shifted and smoothed out her jacket, clearly agitated with the woman. "Now, regardless of what you think, my sister would like to see this woman again. We would appreciate your help with this matter."

"Listed lady, I can't tell you anything about another patient. That's not how we do things here. Your sisters just going to have to go on perfect match like the rest of us."

Alison in her frustration slammed her hand down on the woman's desk. "You're rude, you know that? What is it going to take to get what we want?" She pulled out her wallet. Cosima jumped forward.

"Alison, no. You're not going to bribe her." She turned to the lady behind the desk. "Ma'am, please. I just need to know who she is." Her plea fell of deaf ears and both she and Alison were asked to leave the premises.

Back in the car Alison was still ranting about the devil receptionist. "How dare she presume to say what you had wasn't real. In vino veritas. The same could very well be true about laughing gas." Cosima sighed and looked out the window. They were no closer to finding out the identity of the mystery woman and all they had done was majorly piss off the people who had the power to cause her mouth great pain.

Alison's voice flittered on the periphery of her attention. She'd nod and hem and haw at the appropriate times. Truth was that her mind was miles away, thinking about who the woman could be. What was her perfect woman? What would she be like? There were the usual suspects, she'd have the three "S's": sweet, smart, and sexy. But she'd also have to be strong. Her world was a crazy one. Even though they were at peace with DYAD and Top Side for the moment, she feared endangering her newfound family by bringing in an unknown variable. That's not even to mention the potential threat to whomever she ended up with. Could any sane person be expected to accept the fact that their lover was the product of an illegal cloning trial?

"Cosima?" She was taken from her thoughts by Alison's expectant tone.

"Yeah, what's up?" Alison sighed, slightly put out.

"Have you been listening to a word I've said?" Cosima winced. The answer was no.

"I'm sorry… I'm just… I don't know. I'm just tired I guess." Alison softened.

"No problem, sweetie. I was just saying that if it ends up that we can't find this lady friend of yours, I know of the perfect person to set you up with." This took Cosima aback. Alison failed to notice her sisters look of shock. "She's just lovely. She works at Donnie's office. She's a lawyer." It was said as if this was the greatest selling point of all.

"Oh…" Cosima took a deep breath. "Thank you. I guess I'll keep that in mind, but only if we don't find the dentist girl."

"Oh of course. Just something to keep in mind." They pulled up to Felix's building. "Will you guys be okay?"

"Yeah, of course." Cosima reached over and hugged Alison goodbye. "Sarah's been amazing. I'm just going to go take over Felix's couch and rest a bit." She paused as she got out of the van. "Alison… thank you for the help today."

"Anytime, Cosima. Take care." Cosima shut the door and watched as Alison drove off. Making her way up to the flat, her mind went back to picturing her perfect woman. Pulling open the door she was just debating the merits of blonde vs. brunette when she saw Felix and Sarah sprawled out passing a joint back and forth. The room clouded with a sweet smelling haze.

Sarah looked up as she entered. "Cos, how'd it go?" Cosima shrugged off her coat and went to sit by the both of them. "Oh my god, don't tell me Alison's 'honesty is the best method' shit actually worked!" Cosima accepted the joint that Felix handed her. Taking a long hit she exhaled.

"No, she had as much luck as you did." Felix reached over and took the joint back.

"Well, that's just unfortunate but you know what this means?" Cosima just looked at him blankly. "It's my turn. And I won't rest until your lesbian drama has reached a satisfying conclusion." He leered, letting her know exactly what that ending would be. She relaxed in her seat and let herself give in to the cluster fuck this was turning into.

/::::::::::::/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An: Hey everyone. So a bit of a mishap, the chapter published totally in code. So hopefully this one works out. That said I want to thank you for the reviews. I know this chapter isn't the most action packed with cophine goodness so I'll give a little hint about chapter four. It's Felix's turn and with a little herbal help Cosima will begin to remember some of her time at the dentist and figure out just what the connection is that she has with the mystery woman (who we all know is Delphine.)
> 
> Cheers.  
> PiedPepper

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, thank you for reading. I want to thank the wonderful helloitsgracesharto for beta'ing and being generally amazing. Next up Cosima makes a decision and Sarah channels an old friend.


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